Are you resisting what is? Here’s something I’ve been working on: For emotionally and energetically sensitive people, this can be an especially complicated and uncomfortable time because there’s so much difficult stuff swirling around. Random feelings and sensations pop up all through the day – many of them seemingly out of nowhere.
What I am noticing is that the unpleasant ones almost all have a judgement attached. They have already been determined to be “bad” feelings that offer no benefit, which I would like to go away. My predetermined, unconscious response is NO.
This means I am in resistance to it. And this makes it worse.
So, when I notice that I am trying to avoid or minimize something like anxiety, nausea, or sadness, I try to stop and choose a different relationship to my experience. I practice the thought “Maybe this energy is trying to tell me something. Maybe some part of me needs attention.”
Now I focus on the feeling with openness instead of trying to get it to go away and leave me alone. I might ask it what it wants me to know, or if it is ok. I don’t necessarily get answers, but it does shift the energy, and it helps me notice that the actual experience isn’t that bad – It’s just that I had labeled it “Unbearable.”
Often times it’s just a decision to be willing to feel whatever it is. Even if it’s something like nausea, as soon as I switch from “throwing up is bad – Avoid at all costs!” to “I’m willing to throw up if that’s what needs to happen. I’m not going to fight it.” It’s frequently already different.
It’s also helpful to switch my perspective from “I’m feeling anxious!” to “I’m noticing anxiety.” It makes it less personal, and it creates a little space between the feeling and the associated idea – “Something must be wrong.” It’s really helpful to look at it like a part of me is feeling anxiety. That way the rest of me can choose to feel compassion or support for that part, which makes me feel less isolated and overrun with discomfort. I can also choose to see it as “free floating.” In other words, “This is somebody else’s emotion, or a collection of energy that I am picking up on,” again making it less personal.
Now I’m no longer suffering. I’m not struggling with the pervasive feeling that a bad thing is happening. I’m not trying to avoid pain. Instead I’m able to say to myself “It’s ok to feel this. It’s not that bad. It may or may not mean anything. It may not even belong to me. But either way I’m willing to hear whatever it might want me to know.”
It’s a work in progress, and it takes practice, but it makes the experience easier to go through, it keeps me out of resistance, and it keeps the emotion from piling up and creating a backlog of unprocessed energy inside me.
If your spirit is prompting you to have a conversation about navigating all the complicated energetic and emotional pitfalls of this unusual transition, I encourage you to get in touch with me.