Much of what we experience as being in our way is the result of unhealthy patterns set in motion early in life. We have internalized a message, belief, behavior, or hurtful experience that we then live with until we are forced to face it. Our version of the pattern...

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the back hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ~...

When I was much younger, just the idea of meditation seemed torturous. How boring and pointless to just sit there still and quiet for nothing. I didn’t understand at the time that I was unable to be with myself. That my experience of my inner world was something...

How easy is it to be with yourself? I don’t mean just away from other people. I mean the experience of what it feels like to be you, regardless of what is or isn’t going on around you. It’s a little like when you get close enough to someone to feel comfortable not...

A friend of mine told me that after her recent uterine cancer diagnosis, many other women “came out” to her about having the same health issue. She could tell how urgently they needed to be heard. They felt they finally found someone who would get it; someone who was...

I heard an interview with Bruce Springsteen about his autobiography from a few years ago. The thing that stayed with me the most was a reference to having absorbed the message growing up that, as a man, he should never let the mask down all the way - always keep...

As humankind moves slowly and unwillingly toward becoming more sensitive and compassionate, more of our damaged softer sides will be coming to the surface to be healed and integrated. No doubt we will still be dealing with the cultural pressure to toughen up, quit...

Not all significant personal growth is experienced as a breakthrough or an event. Some is subtler and takes place in many tiny increments over a long stretch of time. The difficulty with the subtle kind is that we can easily overlook or discount what’s going on, which...

My father had an enormous influence on who I am and who I wanted to be when I was growing up. I carefully copied him, not just because I wanted to be like him, but also because I wanted to understand him better. I hoped that by replicating his actions and attitudes...

I like to collect experiences and examples that illustrate a spiritual lesson. They serve as reference points that help me to connect with the truth of the insight, not just the idea. I use them to remind me what it actually takes to stand in my truth, or make a...

The Sanskrit word Lila loosely translated means “divine play." Play is one of those words we’ve done ourselves the great disservice of oversimplifying. We’ve let it become something we regard as childish, frivolous, un-serious. Even if we appreciate the potential for...

“That might be the best answer I’ve heard.” That’s what I thought recently when a prospective client was explaining to me why she wanted to do this work. She was going through a crisis in her life that was showing up in a variety of ways but centered on the very...

Why can’t we agree on things that used to seem obvious? Why are people betraying so many of the values they used to cling to? Why is lying, hypocrisy, and hate so flagrant and unapologetic now? Let’s get back to that in a minute, ok? I remember being on the phone with...

Have you noticed a big letdown recently? It shows up in a lot of different forms, but I think they’re all related. -Eve did a great job of keeping her business going even when it seemed unlikely. Now things have stabilized and are even on the upswing. Unfortunately,...

My friend was telling me she felt stuck with the masculine version of God. She didn’t agree with it intellectually. It didn’t make any sense to her. She felt God must be all things, including gender (and no gender). But she still couldn’t override the default setting...

In 1987, a woman named Pat Schroeder gave a speech announcing that she was ending her campaign for the presidency. It was unusual for a woman to run at all in those days so that drew some notice. But what really got their attention? She cried. That was a disqualifier....

I found out my friend has ALS. I didn’t respond right away. I postponed, I avoided, I tried to get used to the idea. I finally sent the “can we talk” text. And when he agreed, when I knew we were going to talk...then came the grief. It took me days to move through all...