Relationship agreements

Relationship agreements

Every relationship is different. But every relationship has relationship agreements. Dive into what they are and how they show up – unspoken and spoken – in every kind of relationship you have.

What is spirituality?

What is spirituality?

Recently someone who’s started to explore spirituality asked me: how should people view spirituality? What should we experience with spirituality? What is spirituality? Here’s what I shared with him.

Can Both AND Neither Be True?

Can Both AND Neither Be True?

Confronting my latest paradox One of the regular hallmarks of the divine is paradox. To go up, you have to go down… Something is true, and so is its opposite… It often feels like a reminder to me of how complex the Universe truly is. We live in a dimension that...

Healing the Distant Past

Healing the Distant Past

Much of what we experience as being in our way is the result of unhealthy patterns set in motion early in life. We have internalized a message, belief, behavior, or hurtful experience that we then live with until we are forced to face it. Our version of the pattern...

Using Your Gifts Against You

Using Your Gifts Against You

Your greatest strength can also be your greatest weakness. This is never more true than when we are engaged in self sabotage, and the archetypal inner Saboteur has a favorite way to leverage your strengths against you. It convinces you the opposite is true. It can...

My Unspent Love

My Unspent Love

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the back hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ~...

Exploring Inner Space

Exploring Inner Space

When I was much younger, just the idea of meditation seemed torturous. How boring and pointless to just sit there still and quiet for nothing. I didn’t understand at the time that I was unable to be with myself. That my experience of my inner world was something...

But I’m the Only One Here

But I’m the Only One Here

How easy is it to be with yourself? I don’t mean just away from other people. I mean the experience of what it feels like to be you, regardless of what is or isn’t going on around you. It’s a little like when you get close enough to someone to feel comfortable not...

To Know, Know, Know You

To Know, Know, Know You

A friend of mine told me that after her recent uterine cancer diagnosis, many other women “came out” to her about having the same health issue. She could tell how urgently they needed to be heard. They felt they finally found someone who would get it; someone who was...

It’s Never Enough

It’s Never Enough

I heard an interview with Bruce Springsteen about his autobiography from a few years ago. The thing that stayed with me the most was a reference to having absorbed the message growing up that, as a man, he should never let the mask down all the way - always keep...

Is it Safe to Come out?

Is it Safe to Come out?

As humankind moves slowly and unwillingly toward becoming more sensitive and compassionate, more of our damaged softer sides will be coming to the surface to be healed and integrated. No doubt we will still be dealing with the cultural pressure to toughen up, quit...

Noticing What’s Not Happening

Noticing What’s Not Happening

Not all significant personal growth is experienced as a breakthrough or an event. Some is subtler and takes place in many tiny increments over a long stretch of time. The difficulty with the subtle kind is that we can easily overlook or discount what’s going on, which...

Sticking to My Story

Sticking to My Story

My father had an enormous influence on who I am and who I wanted to be when I was growing up. I carefully copied him, not just because I wanted to be like him, but also because I wanted to understand him better. I hoped that by replicating his actions and attitudes...

What’s the Story?

What’s the Story?

I like to collect experiences and examples that illustrate a spiritual lesson. They serve as reference points that help me to connect with the truth of the insight, not just the idea. I use them to remind me what it actually takes to stand in my truth, or make a...

Through Us and By Us

Through Us and By Us

The Sanskrit word Lila loosely translated means “divine play." Play is one of those words we’ve done ourselves the great disservice of oversimplifying. We’ve let it become something we regard as childish, frivolous, un-serious. Even if we appreciate the potential for...

Pattern Interrupted

Pattern Interrupted

“That might be the best answer I’ve heard.” That’s what I thought recently when a prospective client was explaining to me why she wanted to do this work. She was going through a crisis in her life that was showing up in a variety of ways but centered on the very...

I Don’t Want to Go and You Can’t Make Me!

I Don’t Want to Go and You Can’t Make Me!

Why can’t we agree on things that used to seem obvious? Why are people betraying so many of the values they used to cling to? Why is lying, hypocrisy, and hate so flagrant and unapologetic now? Let’s get back to that in a minute, ok? I remember being on the phone with...

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