This is the kind of Spiritual terrain that I help people navigate. If your Spirit is prompting you to have a conversation about healing this wound and connecting to its purpose on your path, I encourage you to get in touch with me.
You’re a big weirdo.
You may not think of yourself that way, but if you’re reading this it’s almost certain that in your family, your community, and your life in general, you are something of an outsider. Maybe not in a painful way. Maybe in a way that you heavily disguise. Nevertheless, you feel different.
The vast majority of the people I know who are doing this work – walking the confusing and uneven spiritual path – don’t fit in and aren’t fully seen by most of the world. Over and over you are confronted with this fact as you face the choice to continue to work to stay on the path or try to conform.
Usually this starts in childhood. Your family, in particular, doesn’t get you, and that feeling only solidifies as you get older. Some people are rejected, some are attacked, and some are tolerated, but the underlying message, spoken or not, is you are not like the rest of us in some critical respect.
And they’re right.
What you have (relative to the tribe) is a greater ability to perceive and pursue your individual path, particularly when it conflicts with that of the tribe. You are better able to grow into your true self than your family, or the kids at school, or the people at work. For them there is an almost overwhelming need, a gravity, that pulls them back to the center where tribal needs and values are prioritized.
This weirdness of yours not only enhances your chances of finding your own truth, it enhances your ability to ultimately help the group in ways none of them will be able to.
The tribe is a relatively closed system. It is designed to preserve and perpetuate the system as is. That’s why you are seen as such a threat. You represent the possibility of growth and change – something they need but do not want.
In order to do this, in order to help the other members of your tribe grow and change, you must have a different point of view than from the rest, one with greater distance and objectivity. That difference is what allowed you to look at your family and register that something wasn’t right, that something needed to be healed.
You must also be able to leave the group in order to work on your own healing first. You can’t help them until you help yourself. Doing that means being able to achieve escape velocity which is why the separation between you and your family exists in the first place. You wouldn’t have a chance of escaping the will of the tribe if it worked for you; the tribe’s role is often to help you by driving you away.
Your alienation is your ticket to freedom.
And finally, you must be able to recognize and collect the information that will allow you to heal and then grow into the person who can return to the tribe and offer the possibility of evolving past the stunted, resistant, dysfunctional knot they have tied themselves into.
You are a weirdo because somebody needed to interrupt the unhealthy generational cycle that threatens to destroy your tribe, and you’re it. Most of the people you really connect with in life are that person in their family, even if they don’t seem like it. If you could understand how little they fit in with their tribe, it would be clear to you how similar you both are.
So, on behalf of all the tribes that rejected and traumatized you by sending you out on your path: Thank you for being such a huge friggin’ weirdo.