“That might be the best answer I’ve heard.”

That’s what I thought recently when a prospective client was explaining to me why she wanted to do this work.

She was going through a crisis in her life that was showing up in a variety of ways but centered on the very likely end of her marriage. She knew it was part of a pattern that got worse with each repetition. These kinds of things had been happening her whole life.

So why now? What changed?

She told me she had realized something:

“I know I can get through this. I always do. But I don’t want to just get through it. I know I can survive – that’s what I’m good at. I’ve been doing it my whole life. But that’s all I know how to do. I want to do more than survive.”

“What a great place for us to start!” I told her.

More times than not, people feel they can’t afford to do serious spiritual work when life is hard because they’re focused on just getting through it.

It feels like all they can do. They are stuck in survival mode, which means their brain is consumed with scanning for danger.

When looking through this lens, we lose access to a higher perspective. It’s hard to receive guidance or inspiration since our mind is editing out everything that doesn’t pertain to the immediate sense of danger.

And most of the time we aren’t even aware that we’re looking through a distorted lens. We think we’re just seeing reality as it is.

What she was telling me was that she knew she was looking through a distorted lens. She knew that it was keeping her from seeing how anything could ever be different for her.

But it hadn’t prevented her from hearing the small, soft voice inside that knew that it could be different. That it must be different. That it was time.

Even if she didn’t know how that was going to happen.

One of the things that’s so confusing about being stuck in survival mode is that it becomes your comfort zone. Not that it’s comfortable, but it’s familiar.

It is what you’re used to, even if it’s not what you want. And in a weird way, as she had said, you get good at it.

This often prevents you from taking steps away from your comfort zone. But you can end up waiting forever for everything to make sense ahead of time and for guaranteed safety and success.

What I heard her describing were preconditions for meaningful growth. It’s an incredible combination of humility, innocence, and wisdom. There’s a recognition that you’re stuck in a pattern that was an attempt to keep you safe a long time ago, but now no longer serves you.

And there’s a deep knowing that it’s time to expand farther into your true self. Even if you have no idea how. Real growth demands that you take risks, release control, and face the unknown.

If your spirit is prompting you to have a conversation about moving past limiting survival patterns, I encourage you to consider working with me.

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