How easy is it to be with yourself?
I don’t mean just away from other people. I mean the experience of what it feels like to be you, regardless of what is or isn’t going on around you.
It’s a little like when you get close enough to someone to feel comfortable not talking, but still feel connected. Except it’s just you. Many people have no idea what that’s like.
Often people avoid it (even if they’re not aware of it) because it feels awkward or because they don’t know how.
Some people who prefer to be alone are focused more on avoiding the difficulty and discomfort of other people than focusing on their own experience.
Being with yourself can feel…
Because it is unfamiliar or unpleasant territory for most of us, we end up going into our heads to try to figure out how we really feel or to find our truth. Of course, all you can find there is your idea of yourself.
The deeper self is often a mystery. What it has to share often contradicts our ego position. Our ego wants to believe that it is the sum of our experience, so it tries to prevent there being room for anything else.
And to get to it, we must often first have to pass through all the repressed, rejected, and undiscovered parts of us that exist outside of our day to day consciousness. These are aspects that require our love and compassion, which are very hard to provide if we aren’t willing, or don’t know how to be with ourselves.
And there’s the paradox.
We have disincentivized our deepest truth: knowing ourselves beyond our personality and how others treat us. What’s waiting for us in that interior space is either unwanted by the ego, or too painful and confusing to feel approachable. It can seem like nothing or chaos in there, with no way of getting beyond either.
Next time I’ll suggest a way to begin.
If your spirit is prompting you to have a conversation about the struggle to be with yourself, I encourage you to consider working with me.