Lately I have found myself mentioning the dynamic of addiction to several people. The point was not that they were addicts but that the patterns of addiction are so present in our culture that we are all susceptible to them to some degree. The one aspect in particular that I noticed was the compulsion to [...]

Meg has a mounting list of grievances against the contractor she hired, but she avoids binging them up because it always just makes it worse. Stan cringes when his wife announces that they “need to talk”. Even though he rehearses his side of the argument in his head he gets flustered and draws a blank [...]

As you read this post, keep in mind: avoiding and pursuing are opposite kinds of energy. Sally is a high achiever in her job.  It makes her feel productive and powerful. She’s recently had a child so she hasn’t had enough sleep, and the economy is bad, so she’s overwhelmed and things are tense.  Lately, [...]

When trying to solve a personal crisis, there are two obvious questions to address: 1.  Why do I have this issue? 2.  How do I deal with it? With many of my clients, I’ve noticed another critical step which often precedes and preempts these questions from ever being asked: overcoming avoidance.  Whether it’s fully recognizing [...]